Breaking News - Establishment Media is Manipulative!

The establishment media, which encompasses the BBC as well as the billionaire-owned rags, decides what we talk and think about and what's important.

Today or this week or this month you are all going to talk about Diane Abbott. We will make you believe that she is utterly incompetent for getting a figure wrong, because this is what the Conservatives have told us to do. We will have normally intelligent people actually disliking this inspiring woman for a minor human mistake.

For the next year and a half we are going to tell you that Jeremy Corbyn is weak, over and over and over and over. We are going to shamelessly pummel this into your mind. We are going to use emotive language and will manipulate anything we can to fit into this unfounded, inaccurate picture, because this is what neoliberalism dictates.

This year you'll think that Theresa May is a strong leader who will save our economy even though all the evidence contradicts such views.

Also we are going to make you think being a strong or weak leader is all-important and we will completely ignore other pressing issues in doing so. You see, we decide what's important.

For the next two months you'll think Corbyn is a terrorist sympathiser. This issue will dominate all the debates and interviews in the run-up to the election, when its not even remotely worth talking about.

In the run up to the election we will omit or place barely any emphasis on the British government's and May's connections with Saudi Arabia and the plight of Yemen who Saudi Arabia is bombing.

In the run up to this election we won't explore May's connection, as Home Secretary, with Salman Abedi, the alleged Manchester-attack perpetrator.

We won't place nearly enough emphasis on the sickening state of the NHS and the upsetting living conditions of disabled people under austerity and how this is a result of the Conservatives. Instead we'll talk about Brexit until we start foaming at the mouth and falling over backwards.

We won't properly address civilian deaths in foreign countries and we won't explore the links between extremism and our foreign policy.

We will interrogate Corbyn for not being willing to commit genocide via Trident and we won't interrogate May for being willing to do so.

We will discourage you from thinking outside the box.

We create the box as we decide the terms of debate... Not you!

Go back to bed Britain, you are in safe hands.