In darkness I become whole again
When everything is still and empty, the questions cease, and the silence whispers to me
When the revolutions of daylight come to a close, I shed my skin and become naked and vulnerable
Yet in my very vulnerability I find an imperishable strength, a place where nothing or no one can hurt me
This place is my home
The darkness nourishes me
The midday sun clothed the grass in robes of golden felicity, generously pouring its radiant honey on the world below
There I reclined, the green field my soft bed for the afternoon
Time had ceased, space had vanished
A rich, blue expanse domed the world, which became a sacred space teeming with animacy
Daisies and buttercups speckled the green grass around us, as my sisters and I made daisy chains, lost in the delicate task
Life was only to be good, reverential and filled with light, despair was never to rear its head
Then I stumbled and fell, as the summer field became more distant
I felt separation, pain and anxiety
I was taught to mimic others, to conform
I was asked to leave my younger soul behind, to march forward with everyone else
Lost and pained, I ran, I didn't know what else to do
I ran and ran until I came upon a familiar place
The trees were intimate and comforting
I rested on the bed of soft grass
As the summer sun poked its head through the clouds, as the birds sang their soul-songs, I noticed the grass was speckled with daisies and buttercups
Inhaling deeply the sweetness of the air, my body flooded with a torrent of emotion
I had returned
A choir of angels singing, birdsong carried me from slumber to waking
Their delicate sounds intermingled, gently plucking at my unconscious, lifting me from one world to another
Is there a better way to awaken?
Though it was cold and grey, I felt light and content
I did not wish to be elsewhere or look forward to some future plan, nor did I dwell on the past
I simply existed and this was enough, the fullness of the moment held me
The cool morning breeze, the trees and bushes, the tweets, chirps, clucks and hoots all became music to me, the most divine music
And the wheels keep turning
Dark gives birth to light as songbirds pierce the silence, heralding a new day
We awoke light and healthy, our thoughts flowing easefully
As we ambled by the river, greenery and foliage proliferated around us
It seemed all of life were burgeoning and blossoming in this very moment, spilling over in excitement and joy
Overfilling the contours of restraint and order, everything burst forth in excess, headiness and jubilation
We too were unrestrained, intoxicated by the beauty of nature
We inhaled the walm, balmy air and as we took in this nectar it smelt of green and soil and sunshine all rolled into one
Today we did not ruminate, we did not worry, we did not analyse
We simply existed and delighted in existing
Insects flew around us and covered the plants and flowers
Birds tweeted in the trees above
Bushes and trees twisted and inclined in our direction
We all swirled and danced together, no step was out of place
We were all one dance
We were all one melody
Notice that interval betwixt the chirping of the birds
Sense the emptiness in this remote valley
Did you feel it on that peaceful Sunday morning?
Did it tap your shoulder in the dead of night?
It encompasses everything, yet is so often neglected
We swim in its presence; it consumes, it gives birth
As the stars cannot shine without darkness, we cannot sing without silence
What if there’s nothing to fix? What if the perpetual need to solve everything is why you’re discontent?
When we grow, like a seedling emerging from its shell, we are moving towards wholeness. Perfection doesn’t exist.
Through wholeness, we become well-rounded and multifaceted. Wholeness is inclusive, welcoming the good, the bad and the ugly in equal measure. Wholeness doesn’t push away or repress so-called negative thoughts. Wholeness is adaptive and open, not restrictive and narrow.
Some situations call for strength and power, more situations call for softness and yielding. The person of wholeness responds accordingly.
